Dreams

The last few weeks I've had quite a bit of time to think.  My musings keep coming back to dreams.

For as long as I can remember, I've been chasing a dream of some sort or another, making a goal to get there.  Some, like being an astronaut, fell away as I changed, while others remained.

I've always believed that no matter what, with hard work you can make all your dreams come true.  I'm not sure what that makes me, other than a girl with her head in the clouds.

In my life, I've watched everything I've wanted materialize.  I found the love of my life, started a family, had a successful career, and goals to move forward both personally and professionally while surrounded by loving extended family and friends.  I've also had to make choices to stop, put things on hold indefinitely, while at the same time redefine and accept myself, including all of what I cannot change despite every fiber in my being wanting to.

When you are holding your dreams in your hands, you never imagine they can slip through your fingers dripping like sand through an hour glass.  Each tiny grain that falls elusive, fleeting invisibly, silently before your eyes.

Then again, the ebbs and flows in life are dynamic, so naturally, aren't dreams?  Instead of fleeting, they are transforming, shifting as trickles of sweat and tears are added, ready for shaving and sculpting no longer dust to be lost in a gentle breeze, but solid and malleable.

Langston Hughes has been whispering to me the past few weeks, from deferring dreams and holding fast to them, I'm trying.  For now, I've opened my eyes, while I have my dreams, the most important are wrapped up in my husband and children who breathe life into my world and really are my dreams come true.  For now I want nothing more than to help them find and hold fast to their dreams any way I can.