Friday, July 13, 2012

Half Full

While it may not seem like it, I am always trying to look at the full part of my glass.  Well, this morning, my coffee cup!

Cole is actually drinking his instant breakfast as I type, instead of throwing it at the dog and he is up 10 ounces in the last week and a half.  Although he's still off the charts, he's moving in the right direction.  I'm not exactly sure what he's liked this past week but at least I've cooked or baked some winners.

Vials sent, sealed, and delivered fine.  Fingers crossed, blood marker results from Philly could be in as early as this afternoon.  From there I can only hope if the anticipated genetic tests are ordered the paperwork goes smoothly and approval is swift.  Cinci blood work will be a little longer, but I can be patient for a week, that isn't all that long these days.

Miraculously the car repair was not as bad as we feared, thus no more worries of being stranded on the side of a hot road with three kids.  Luckily, Nick's got a great partner at work who he happened to be carpooling with all summer, so there was no scrambling for a vehicle for our multiple medical commutes this week.  

In addition, it has been nice to spend some time outside in the sun with some very healthy friends.  After a long lonely winter, with little more than phone calls, a few of the girls' friends have come to swim.  They've had to stay outside, just in case, but Cole's afternoon nap has given the girls a little bit luxury where we have not had to say no for a change.  Due to my own appointments, they've even had a wonderful day with kids away from home, thanks to my friend Lori, brave enough to take them to art class, the playground, and then let them invade her house for the day with her own two kids, even though my #2 can be quite a challenge with hers.

We are still hopeful that I will be able to get back into my classroom this fall.  It is such a challenge to make decisions when you are still waiting for information.  I am so fortunate to be in a career where I have been able to take as much time as I have, and am optimistic to jump right back in with my colleagues, who I miss tremendously.  Again, I know I have changed over this journey, and know these individuals will treat me the same as before, which is all I want.  I don't want to be looked at as a sob story, because you know what, I don't feel sorry for myself.  We've welcomed one really cool kid into our family and he has opened our eyes to a different world.  I would never change that.  He just happens to have some hurdles to jump and needs our help, that's what parents do.  The team I work with is amazing, like a family, and I've been lucky to have them as co-workers and friends, and love that when I see them, it as we are picking up where we left off.  Looking forward to it on a regular basis somewhere on this road.

As a very proud, independent individual I have always wanted to do things myself because I could, and maybe I just don't want to seem weak or dependent.  I know many of you have generously asked what you can do, and honestly, I believe we are doing ok.  But the few times I have needed something and was just too darn stubborn to say anything, I am lucky to have people who just said they were doing this or that, whether watching the kids, dragging me out, understanding I was too tired for plans, or volunteering to take me to appointments for myself.  I am so thankful for you, and for those who really want to help, don't worry, I am not so shy or proud anymore that I will not ask, but am saving my requests for the days when I just may not be here to help if and when we are finally sent to Houston or Boston.     

Right now, your love, friendship, support, and understanding is all I need.  Knowing what I have in so many of you and the laughter of my children is what keeps me smiling past the rough patches.  That and, while it is cold, my coffee cup is still half full.

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