Monday, November 3, 2014

Project Gratitude

One year ago, I was in a position I never imagined I'd experience in my youth.

My uc had begun to flare out of control.  I seriously thought it was a terrible flu, not my uc. Two days after spending a great night out with friends celebrating my birthday, unbearable pain set in. At this point I didn't run to the doctor's office like I thought I would the night before, I was desperate by morning, and demanded to go to the er once the girls went to school.

That was the beginning of a long hospital stay and an even longer recovery.  There were points I truly didn't believe I was going to get better.

 The sedation for the pain left me cloudy, often just barely able to function through basic tasks.  Weakened, I struggled to walk short distances and stairs were non-negotiable.

Hospital doctors and nurses saved my life last year.  Even when my surgeon teased me about not cutting me open just yet, maybe the next day, I knew they were doing everything they could to help me, yet was also well awake of just how dire my situation was.

Despite the hurdles we had crossed before this point, Nick and I were to be tested again, pushed beyond limits we thought we could endure.  Without Nick, I would not have been able to recover, nor could our children have thrived through such a frightening circumstance.  As things started to look up, doctors told us just how fortunate I was, there was a possibility I may have needed much more intervention or may not have pulled through.

While I have struggled through many of set backs on our journey, this was a challenge I never expected.  People in their mid thirties should never be as ill as I was, they should be vibrant, full of strength.  I was neither.  Luckily, Nick and I had some outstanding individuals there ready to support us in any way possible.

It is these people I have spent many hours thinking about, many hours wondering just how to thank them, for in their own ways, they too saved us last year.  Then I thought, well, wow, there are so many people I have been blessed to know, whether our paths crossed for a moment or for eternity.  I wonder if these individuals realize just how much they have touched my life or brightened a dark day.

While I think often of these people, I've often wondered if I've shown them enough thanks, or if I've been so tangled in our obstacles that I've neglected to share my appreciation. It is these thoughts that lead me to a little project, one purely or gratitude.  Project Gratitude is just another little blog, one where I can take a minute to recognize those I am truly grateful for and share the amazing ways these individuals have made a difference in our little world. Order of entries are just as I'm inspired to write.  I'm planning to share a few moments of gratitude with you each week throughout the next year.  To me, a heartfelt letter or note is the best gift any one can give me, for words that pour out of the heart are as real as it gets., not something Hallmark can emulate.  To those of you who have never wavered, no matter what, there are no words rich enough to measure the depth of our appreciation, but I will.try.

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