Up

Thank you for your stories and warmth.

Just what I needed to keep looking up, keep moving forward.

<3

Tales

Give me inspiration.  Some days are tiring, especially when waiting.  I'm doing my best to keep on processing lemonade, but could use to hear some stories that are not my own.

You all know about my lemonade.  Every day I try to make the most of the hand we've been dealt, doing what I can to stay on the sunny side of things despite the unknown, despite changes I never anticipated.  Now, I'm not only sharing here on the blog, I am writing and working towards a dream I have had for many years, one I always thought was down the road.  Without Cole's mysteries, I may not have started to take this step because I lacked the right lemons for a refreshing beverage.
 
In the end, there is always a silver lining, yet when you are lost in the middle of the cloud, it's often hard to see.

Tell me about your "lemons to lemonade tales" or even your "God laughs when you make plans" stories.

Swimming

Draw has been sent to Texas.  We've taken one more step forward.

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, just keep swimming.

Cole is such a trooper, with yesterday's draw he not only rolled up his sleeve, he sat still and only let out a tiny whimper, so different from the wiggling and crying we've endured in the past.  Such a good boy - I decided he deserved a new train.

We are still waiting for the news regarding his IL10.  Our local doctors expect the call any day.  In the meantime, we have been combating the after effects of his ear infection antibiotics.  Love how one cure, creates havoc elsewhere in his little body.  Looks like the writing is on the wall for ear tubes.  We'll find out next week.  

For now, we will just keep swimming, even if it is upstream.  

Sands

It's always great to have a distraction when you have to wait indefinitely, yet all diversions are not created equal.  Our little man is plagued with yet another ear infection, one step closer to yet another specialist to visit.  At least my hands are so full that the last thing I've worried about is the ominous ring of the phone.

When it did ring, after my greeting, our immunology fellow bubbled that while she still did not have any of the expected news for us, she did have some news to share.  The study in Houston was finally ready to set up Cole's draw.  All of the normal levels in the study are in the process of being finalized, therefore if everything is set on their end, we will be headed to Children's at the beginning of next week.  In addition, she reminded me that Cole's case is being shared at a national immunology conference this weekend and hopefully between all of the experts attending, another may have more ideas to offer regarding his condition.

Even though I was nervously anticipating completely different information, this still gives me a sigh of relief as the sands of my hourglass pace themselves, steadily slipping south.  Time is not infinite, and without these puzzle pieces it's as if all I can do is sit by, helplessly unable to weigh all options, attempting to balance all the gray trapped within the monotonously silent grains.  With so much information on the cusp, I pray as it begins to speak our language, it shatters the glass, altering the urgency of fate, buying time.  

For now, I will take my little man's snuggles, as all he wants is to cuddle up and watch Woody.  Luckily there are three Toy Story films or I might really start to dislike Tom Hanks and Tim Allen!

Cooking

Patience is easier when you are busy.  Glad for all of the Halloween/birthday festivities yesterday to keep moving and not focus on the phone.  

Now that the excitement has silenced like an empty arena, I'm back to cooking.  Yes, I said cooking, which for me, is better than baking.  Some people clean when they are stressed, me, I'm a tornado in the kitchen.  Once upon a time I would spend the day curled up with pen and paper, but that's hard to do when your toddler is scaling Mount Everest and K2 without his safety harnesses in the living room.  However in the kitchen, I can distract him as he looks for good hand holds on the rock wall drawers.

So today, I continue to wait and I cook.  It is a sauce and meatball day, some for dinner, some for the freezer.  Aromatic all day and end result is fabulously tasty, certainly a way to stay busy and positively productive while willing the phone to ring.

Before the house stirs I need to hide all the loot from the kids' "treating" last night and strategically place our guard dinosaur to keep Cole from the top of the cupboards looking for candy.